Getting Older is a Privilege. I’ll Keep Saying It.

I will scream this from the rooftops: aging is a privilege that not everyone is afforded. It is not a condition that needs to be treated, and it is not a problem that needs to be corrected. Your face is not a before picture waiting to become an after picture.

I know that probably sounds a little rich coming from someone who has spent the last 20 years working in an industry that is heavily focused on physical appearance. Makeup is an enormous business, and a significant part of that business is built around convincing people that they need something else: another product, another treatment, another procedure, another way to look younger. We are constantly being given the message that getting older is something we should fight rather than something we should be grateful to experience.

But maybe my feelings about aging are particularly strong because I have watched people I love lose the opportunity to do it.

I have had three close friends pass away far too young. One was in her 20s, one was in her 30s and one was in her early 40s. They never got to experience their 50s, 60s or 70s+. They never got to find out what their lives would look like years down the road, who they would become, what their families would look like or what it would feel like to grow older. They never got the opportunity to complain about their aching knees, laugh about their gray hair or wonder when exactly their metabolism stopped cooperating. They simply didn't get those years.

So yes, I probably have a stronger reaction than some people when someone sits in my chair and tells me they need to "fix" their face. Because I don't see a face that needs fixing. I see a person who is here, in the present, living a life that not everyone gets the opportunity to experience.

Makeup Doesn't Need to Erase You

My approach to makeup has always been about working with someone's features rather than trying to cover them up or change them into something else. That has been true throughout my career, and it has become even more important to me as I've gotten older myself.

I don't believe makeup needs to erase wrinkles, disguise every sign of aging, reshape your face or make you look like a younger version of yourself. Makeup can enhance your features, add definition, even out your complexion and bring attention to the things you like about yourself. It can also simply be fun. Most importantly, it can make you feel confident. Those are very different goals from trying to erase your age.

This is also why I don't approach makeup for mature skin as a collection of rules about what you are "allowed" to wear after a certain age. Your skin may have changed. Your features may have changed. Your preferences may have changed. None of that means your face has become a problem. It simply means your makeup might need to change with you.

I Don’t Want to Make You Look 20 Years Younger

If you are looking for a makeup artist who will make you look 20 years younger, I'm probably not your makeup artist. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.

I'm not interested in making a 50-year-old look 30. I'm interested in making a 50-year-old feel really damn good about being 50. There is a difference. I don't want to take away the evidence that you've lived a life. I don't want to make you look like you haven't laughed, cried, raised children, built a career, traveled, survived hard things, celebrated good things or simply spent decades being a human being. Those years are part of your face because they are part of your life, and I don't see a reason to be ashamed of that.

That doesn't mean you have to give up caring about your appearance or stop enjoying makeup. You can love your wrinkles and still wear concealer. You can be completely comfortable with getting older and still want to learn how to do your eyeliner. You can have absolutely no interest in looking younger and still want a really great lipstick. You can embrace your gray hair, changing skin and changing face while also enjoying the hell out of makeup. Those things are not contradictory.

You Can Age Without Apologizing for It

That is ultimately what I want my clients to experience when they sit in my chair. Whether you want your makeup done for your professional headshots, family photos, a special evening out or simply someone to teach you how to work with the face you have today, I want the experience to leave you feeling more confident…NOT because we successfully disguised your age, but because you feel good about the person looking back at you.

I believe we are beautiful at every age. Not despite our age, but at our age. I don't want my clients leaving my studio wishing they looked younger. I want them leaving feeling proud of who they are right now.

Maybe that is why I feel so strongly about this. After losing three people I cared about far too young, I have a difficult time looking at aging as something we should be embarrassed by or desperately trying to outrun. Getting older means you are still here. You get to experience another birthday, another decade, another chapter of your life. Not everyone gets that opportunity.

So when you sit in my chair, I'm going to do my best to make you proud of the age you are. I'm not going to try to turn you into someone you were twenty years ago, and I'm not going to treat the person sitting in front of me like a problem that needs to be solved. I'm going to work with the features you have, the skin you have, the face you have and the person you have become.

You are here. You are getting older. And you get to experience something that not everyone gets the privilege of experiencing.

That's not something I want to fix.

That's something worth celebrating.